Well, this evening seems like as good a time as ever to start getting on with my creative life again! Its been well over a year since my mother passed away and my part-time employer pulled some shenanigans and made my life a hell of a lot more difficult than it already was. I've spent a lot of time dancing with depression and then giving myself the most outrageous pep talks! It worked... sometimes. Not often enough though.
But.... there was a shift last night. Probably brought on by the death of one of my outdoor cats. Everett was his name and he was one of the most loving little guys I've met. I found him collapsed in the grass barely breathing, but he managed to meow piteously a time or two. When I wrapped him up in a soft towel and told him it was ok, that I was there with him, he opened his eyes a little bit to try and see me. Then softly closed them and meowed three more times..... he lasted a few more hours... then slipped away quietly into the night. His Spirit free from earthly confinement. He is the third cat I've lost to death in the last fifteen days. The losses have wrung me out and draped me over a limb to dry in the breezes. And they have breathed fire back into some little ember that I had buried deep inside my heart. Its time I swung off that limb and started walking in the starlight again! Watch some sunrises and listen to the birdsong with joy in my heart.... not pain and longing for what was.
So. I'll see what happens from here! No big plans made, no forecasts of what I think I'll do or want to do. I'm going to let it flow like the wind through the tree leaves.
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| I see it! Peeking through the rain clouds! |
