Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Standing at the Crossroads.......

  
Rarely get to wear any of these beauties. Seems such a shame!

   Well, things inside my mind have been interesting to say the least. And I can't just put on a hat and cover them up. Though that does indeed cheer me up a little!  
   No, realization can be a real booger and this is one of those times for me. Of late I have been able to see more clearly just how bad the disarray in my life TRULY is. And let me tell you... it ain't pretty!!!  Its shocking actually and depressing as hell. As I stand at this crossroad I can see my choice of paths and since only one makes any good sense... that's the one I'll be taking. Of course, its the one that is covered in big rocks and sharp shards! But they just need to be cleared out... as do sooooo many other things.
   Yes, I'm talking down-sizing. At first it seemed like a defeat. That I hadn't been "good enough" and now I had to "lose" things. But I found that was just another phantom I'd created by losing my mother to dementia and having to place her in long-term care. Reality is, I did the best I could and nothing is ever enough against a disease that!
   So as difficult as its going to be for me, I choose to start shedding objects and other less tangible things that are quite frankly, in my way. I'm taking it beyond my previous post about organizing. I'm beginning to birth a Whole New ME.... and I don't need or want any more obstructions than necessary.  
    My strategy is to proceed in layers! That way I won't get overly anxious about my decisions. The truly sentimental objects will stay. My art supplies need to be organized.... and USED!! I need to create!! Now that's more important than ever. Knick knacks, old books, clothes and hats (gulp!) will be sorted and sent on their way. I just don't have the room nor the energy anymore.
   I chose to approach this as an adventure...... and that's what it should be. Blessings to all.


How am I ever going to pick out my favorites? Yikes!